


Lost On You

by messandahalf



Series: Modern Day Romance [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Good Morgana (Merlin), Hurt Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Mental Health Issues, Plot With Porn, Porn With Plot, Protective Merlin (Merlin), Top Merlin (Merlin), Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:34:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messandahalf/pseuds/messandahalf
Summary: A couple months after coming out to his father, Arthur is struggling. Merlin gently has to remind him that everything will be okay.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Modern Day Romance [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722964
Comments: 17
Kudos: 285





	Lost On You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I definitely did this instead of working on my French work... whoops?? Anyway, enjoy!!

Arthur was happy. He swore he was. So he didn’t understand why he felt so damn low all the time. He had a boyfriend whom he loved with all his heart. They lived together in a modestly nice flat. He had managed to get a relatively good job to help pay their bills, and had managed to find the funding so he could stay in school and finish his degree. So really, he had no reason to feel so... empty. No reason except one. He hadn’t heard from his father since their confrontation at the man’s business event two months ago.

The feeling had crept up on him slowly. Almost like a lingering aftertaste from the unpleasant event. It was small enough that Arthur brushed it aside as mere hurt feelings at first. However, as time went on, the feeling grew. It worried him because he had a feeling that he knew exactly what it was, and he knew that Merlin was worried as well. The problem was, Arthur didn’t want to bother his boyfriend with his snivelling over pathetic family drama. Not when his father was so clearly not worth it. Unfortunately, emotions were not so easily turned off, and so, he almost felt like a helpless passenger as his mind slowly slipped lower and lower until he declared merely getting out of bed in the morning as a victory.

Merlin had tried to talk to him, but between work and studying, they rarely had any solid quality time alone together. Arthur didn’t want to ruin that by being pathetic, so he always very kindly rebuffed all of Merlin’s attempts to get him to talk. It obviously frustrated the man, Arthur’s inability to really open up to him, but truth be told, Arthur was scared. He had never had a relationship with anyone, be it platonic or romantic, where he was comfortable enough to bear his soul and let himself be fully vulnerable. He didn’t know how. To his credit, Merlin did his best to not take that too personally.

That morning had started like any other. Merlin was wrapped snugly up in Arthur’s arms, with Arthur’s nose buried in the dark locks. Merlin had to work that day, but Arthur blessedly had the day off. He didn’t get many Saturdays off, and he intended to make the most of it. Merlin tensed in his arms, signalling that he was waking up. Arthur loosened his grip on his boyfriend to allow him to squirm away and stretch. He then rolls over onto his back, eyes fluttering open with a smile.

“Morning.” He says softly, closing his eyes briefly as he sighs happily. Arthur shuffles closer to press a tender kiss to the middle of his forehead.

“Good morning.” Arthur replies, forcing himself to muster up a smile. That now familiar flicker of concern passes over Merlin’s features, but Arthur ignores it. “What time do you work today?” He asks instead.

Merlin’s frown stays in place for a moment longer before he replies, “The usual time.” Arthur hums in response. “Did you want me to pick up take-out on the way home? We can afford it, don’t worry.” Merlin continues questioningly. Arthur’s knee-jerk reaction is to say no, that they should save their money for more important things, but he knows what Merlin is trying to do, and he appreciates the effort.

Arthur’s smile turns a little more genuine. “Sure. Pick up whatever you like.” He says softly, leaning closer still to gently kiss the tip of Merlin’s nose. The man giggles and playfully shoves him away.

“Okay.” Merlin says. “I’ll go get started on breakfast. Are you showering this morning?” At Arthur’s silent nod, Merlin nods back. “I’ll put yours in the fridge for you then if you don’t get out in time to eat before I have to leave.” He presses a quick kiss to Arthur’s exposed cheek, then rolls out of bed, crossing the room on surprisingly silent feet to grab his clothes before disappearing off to the bathroom to get ready. Arthur rolls onto his back and slowly lets out a breath.

It takes him a few more minutes before he has the energy to force himself out of bed, and when he does, his movements are sluggish. Exhausted. He moves around the room, gathering clothes for the day, slowly. His trip to the bathroom down the hall is equally slow. He can hear Merlin in the kitchen, humming along to music only he can hear, as he prepares breakfast. He can smell it too, the tantalizing aroma of eggs and bacon and coffee. His mouth waters slightly as he slips into the bathroom and flicks the light and fan both on. He turns the water on to warm up before stripping out of his clothes.

He sighs slightly as he steps under the hot spray of water. It’s perhaps a little too hot, just on this side of burning and uncomfortable, but he makes no move to change it. Instead, he grits his teeth and grabs his shampoo, or maybe it’s Merlin’s, and squeezes a decent amount into his palm. He lathers it into his blond locks, making an mental note to make an appointment to get his hair cut soon. He lets his mind fall blank as he works the suds through the long strands, taking his time to massage it into his scalp as well. Once he is satisfied, he ducks back under the spray of hot water properly and rinses it out.

After scrubbing soap over his whole body, and once again gritting his teeth slightly as he rinses off, he twists the water off and steps out of the shower. The room is nicely fogged up, despite the overhead fan trying to combat the steam. He grabs for his towel, hung nicely beside Merlin’s, and scrubs at his hair to dry it at least partially. His movements once again slow as he towels the rest of himself off. Once finished, he hangs the now wet towel back up haphazardly and moves to pull his fresh change of clothes on.

The smell of breakfast is still lingering in the air when he opens the door, letting the steam from inside pour out into the hallway. He no longer hears the telltale sounds of Merlin in the kitchen, so he assumes that his boyfriend has already left for work. After a quick pitstop to their bedroom to drop off his laundry, he makes his way to the kitchen, finding it empty as he suspected. Sitting on the table is a large mug full of coffee, made just the way he likes it, holding down a hastily scribbled note.

_’Breakfast is in the fridge. I’ll see you tonight. Love you, Merlin xoxo’_

Arthur smiles as he rereads the note a few times. Sweeping the mug up into his hand, he takes a sip as he moves to the fridge. As promised, there is a plate full of scrambled eggs and bacon. Next to the plate it yet another note.

_’You can make your own toast, you lazy prat xoxo’_

A chuckle escapes his lips as he pulls the plate out and sets it on the counter. The notes comes next, and he moves back to the table to set it down with the first one. He then sets about pulling bread from the cupboard and popping it into the toaster. As that is going, he puts the plate in the microwave to reheat it, all the while pausing to sip his coffee. By the time his breakfast is ready, his mug is nearly empty. He makes sure to refill it before carrying everything precariously over to the table. If Merlin had been there, he no doubt would’ve gotten an earful for that. _‘There is nothing wrong with taking multiple trips. Do you want to break another mug, Arthur?’_

He eats breakfast slowly, savouring his boyfriend’s cooking skills. Merlin may be hopeless at certain things, but making breakfast was thankfully not one of them. After he is finished, he stays at the table, dishes pushed aside, and sips his coffee as he rereads Merlin’s notes. They really aren’t much, in the grand scheme of things, but they still seemed to make his heart swoop as he reads them over. As he drains the last of his second cup of coffee, he pushes away from the table and gathers his dishes.

Instead of merely placing them in the sink for later, Arthur takes the time to wash them and set them neatly in the drain rack next to the sink. He had a habit of not washing his dishes right away, and then forgetting about them entirely. A habit that Merlin liked to bring up in a rather complaining tone at least once a week. He has to refrain from rolling his eyes as he sets his mug in the rack, turning to dry his now wet hands. A quick glance at the clock on the wall reveals that it’s just after nine in the morning. He has until at least 5:30 or six that evening before Merlin was home with dinner. Before he can make any kind of decisions on what to do for the rest of the day, his phone rings.

“Hello?” He days as he answers the call blindly.

_“Hello, brother.”_ Morgana’s voice comes down the line. Arthur’s breath catches in his throat slightly. Morgana made sure to call him at least once a week, sometimes even taking the time out of her busy schedule to meet him for coffee and lunch.

“Hey, Gana.” Arthur says. “How are things?” He asks as pleasantly as he can.

_“Oh, you know. The usual, I suppose. What about you? How is that adorable boyfriend of yours?”_ Her tone is teasing, but he can hear the sincerity hidden below. She had become worried about him too, commenting that he seemed more withdrawn lately.

Arthur hums. “He’s good. At work right now.”

_“And how about you? How are you doing?”_ She asks, voice hesitant. Arthur has to resist the urge to sigh heavily down the line.

“I’m fine, Morgana. I know that no one really believes me, but it’s the truth.” He replies sternly. He honestly doesn’t even believe the words himself. He hears Morgana sigh over the line.

_“Arthur.”_ She says gently. _“I know something is wrong. You’ve changed since... and I’m just worried about you is all.”_ She continues. Arthur involuntarily bristles at her words.

“How is father?” He hears himself ask. He had always avoided the topic of his father until now. Directly, at least.

_“Arthur, don’t do this to yourself.”_ Morgana warns.

“Morgana. Just tell me.” He says firmly. He needs to know how all of this has affected the man he had spent years, decades, trying to make proud.

Morgana sighs heavily. _“He’s fine, honestly. I thought maybe he’d be at least angry after... but he wasn’t. Nothing about him has changed.”_ She says reluctantly.

“Oh.” Arthur breathes, the knowledge that his own father was wholly unaffected by practically disowning his son hits him like a punch to the stomach. Had he really mattered so little to his own father? Morgana is saying something hurriedly, but he doesn’t make out a single word. His ears are too busy ringing. Just before hanging up, he mumbles, “I have to go.”

Morgana ends up cut off mid-sentence. Any other day and Arthur would’ve feared for his life, Morgana’s wrath was no small matter, but today he doesn’t care. He lets his phone clatter to the kitchen table, and makes his way to their small living room. He flicks the TV on, leaving it on whatever channel is already playing, and puts the volume down low so it’s just a weak buzz in the room. Then he lays down on the sofa, and rolls over so his back is to the room, face toward the cushions. If his own father had no use for him, after twenty years, how was he supposed to expect Merlin to put up with him for any length of time? Was he really that easy to throw away and forget about?

Tears rise unbidden in his eyes, but he doesn’t bother to blink them away. He lets them stay there, blurring his vision until they overflow and spill down his cheeks. He curls himself into a ball as best he can, and just lets himself tremble, the white noise from the TV washing over him. He squeezes his eyes shut and just focuses on breathing, but even that becomes difficult as the first sob rips itself from his choked up throat.

~~~

He hears the key in the lock mere moments before Merlin’s voice rings out into their flat. “Arthur? I’m home!” Arthur sluggishly rises from his spot on the couch where he had fallen asleep. He quickly scrubs at his face, hoping to rid himself of the evidence of his breakdown. He knows that it’s no use, that Merlin will be able to tell anyway, but that doesn’t stop him from at least trying. He flinches as the door closes, and he rises to his feet shakily to go meet his boyfriend.

“Hey.” He says softly as he meets Merlin in the kitchen and pulls him into a hug. “How was work?” He enquires as he moves to help Merlin unpack their take-out. It looks like he stopped at Arthur’s favourite Italian restaurant. The thought that Merlin was still being so good to him makes his heart squeeze in his chest.

“It was all right.” Merlin replies, still not having had a good look at Arthur yet. “No one threw their frozen frappuccino with whip cream at my head today, so that was a bonus.” He adds cheekily, finally turning to face Arthur, intent on pressing a kiss to the man’s lips. Instead, he stops and gently thumbs at Arthur’s cheek. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

Arthur pulls back and shakes his head out of habit, still unsure how to really open up about how he was currently feeling. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you had a good day.” He says evasively, swooping in to press their lips together. Merlin allows him to for only a moment before pulling away, face stern.

“No. I know that you’re trying to do, and it won’t work. I want you to talk to me.” Merlin pleads. Arthur looks away, unable to look at Merlin’s hurt expression for too long.

He mumbles, “I’m fine.”

Merlin gently guides Arthur’s head around so their eyes are locked. “This is not fine. Something has been up with you for the last couple months, and I’m relatively sure that I know what, but I want you to talk to me.” Arthur looks at him with pained eyes. “After we eat, cause I don’t want our food going cold, we are going to sit down and _talk_ , okay?” Arthur really has no choice but to forlornly nod his head. Merlin nods back in subdued victory, then turns to gather plates from the cupboard, efficiently dishing out their dinner as Arthur pulls a bottle of wine out and uncorks it. If he was going to talk properly, he would need at least a little something to help loosen his tongue.

Dinner is a quiet affair. Their usual banter and small talk is instead replaced by a tense sort of silence over their impending conversation. Arthur finds himself picking at his food, appetite not as demanding as it had been earlier. Whether that was because he was nervous about talking to Merlin, or simply because he was no longer hungry, he wasn’t really sure. Either way, he caught Merlin’s concerned glances over the rim of his wine glass, and forces himself to choke down as much as he can stomach.

They clean up in an even tenser quiet, Merlin washing their dishes as Arthur dries them and puts them away neatly. As he sets the last fork back down where it belongs, he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. A hand on his shoulder makes him jump and rip his gaze away from their cutlery to face his boyfriend. His boyfriend who is currently worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Arthur relaxes slightly at the sight, leaning closer to gently press a kiss to Merlin’s lips. “We should go sit.” He murmurs softly as he pulls away. Merlin nods and reaches down to tangle their fingers together. Arthur allows himself to be pulled from the kitchen and led to the sofa, obediently sinking down beside Merlin as close as he possibly can.

Merlin reaches up and brushes his hair off of his forehead. “What’s wrong, Arthur?” He asks quietly. Arthur is now the one who bites his lips, and looks away. Uncertain. “Arthur, please. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Arthur takes a deep breath. “Everything has changed.” He mumbles vaguely. He can feel Merlin’s questioning gaze burning into the side of his head, but he doesn’t know how to elaborate.

When he continues to stay silent, Merlin asks, “What do you mean?” He sounds unsure himself. Scared even, and Arthur never wanted to hurt Merlin too.

“I mean,” he says slowly, “that I’m not really the same man that I was when we first met, am I? I used to... I don’t know... _be_ somebody. I was able to... to spoil you, you know? Treat you like you deserve. Now I’m just... nothing. There’s nothing special, or interesting about me.” He drifts off, unsure where to go from here. He doesn’t really feel like he’s explaining himself properly.

Merlin sounds pained when he breathes out a soft, “Arthur—“

“I spoke with Morgana today.” Arthur interrupts before Merlin has a chance to voice his thoughts. He feels a little bad, but if Merlin truly wants him to talk, the he still has so much left to say. Merlin gives him a confused look. He knew that Morgana checked in with Arthur regularly, so what made today any different?

“Is everything okay?” He asks with concern. Morgana may be a force to be reckoned with, but she genuinely cared about Arthur, so Merlin didn’t wish her any ill luck.

Arthur sounds distracted, even to his own ears, when he mumbles, “Yeah. She’s fine.” Cause she is, isn’t she? She isn’t the one whose father abandoned her without a second thought.

“Arthur, what happened?” Merlin presses.

“I asked about my father.” Arthur admits numbly, now truly realizing what a stupid decision that had been. He hears Merlin curse under his breath as he squeezes Arthur’s hand tightly.

“Why?” He demands, more forcefully than he had intended. Arthur doesn’t even notice his tone.

He finally meets Merlin’s eyes as he replies, “I had to know.” He pauses to swallow thickly. “I had to know how all this had affected him.” He drops his eyes again. “And he doesn’t even care.” He breathes.

Merlin pulls him into a strong hug as he starts shaking. He feels his boyfriend nuzzle into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. His hands reach out of their own accord and tangle themselves in Merlin’s shirt. He can feel Merlin’s breath in his hair, can hear it hitch as he thinks of something to say, but no words come, so Arthur closes his eyes and merely clings to Merlin like his life depends on it. Any maybe it does. In a way.

“He doesn’t care, Merlin.” He hears himself say. “He isn’t even angry. He just moved on like he never had a son to begin with.” He chokes slightly, cutting himself off. A shadow of doubt unfurls in his mind. “The man I looked up to my whole life, whom I tried to make proud every day, tossed me aside without a second thought. If I can’t even keep my father in my life, how am I supposed to keep you?” There is so much pain in his voice that Arthur has trouble even recognizing it as his own.

Merlin stiffens in his arms at the words. They seem to ring in the silence between them, and Arthur feels like he might be sick. When Merlin pulls away, he drops his gaze again to avoid seeing the look on his face. Merlin’s gentle hands grip his face and guide him back around so their eyes lock.

“Arthur,” Merlin says firmly, “I am not your father, and if your father cannot see the amazing man that you have become, then he doesn’t deserve to have you in his life.” He continues almost savagely. Arthur whimpers and tries to pull away, but Merlin’s grip tightens and holds him in place. He doesn’t continue until Arthur settles and looks at him. He gently brushes his thumbs over Arthur’s cheeks as he inhales deeply.

“I did not fall in love with you for your money, or your status in society. I fell in love with you because of who you are, Arthur. Your personality. Your pretty face.” He cracks a grin at that one. “The way we can be in a crowded room, but you only have eyes for me, like I’m the only person there. The way that I feel like the most important man in the world when you hold me in your arms.” Merlin stops there, panting slightly. An uncertain look passes over his features before he looks determined once more.

“Arthur, this may sound stupid, or terrifying. Hell, it terrifies me.” He stops again to take another steadying breath. “I knew, from the moment your lips first touched mine, that you were it for me. That you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I would wait an eternity for you if I had to. I’m not going anywhere. I will never leave you like your poor excuse for a father did. _I love you,_ Arthur, with my whole heart.”

Arthur stares at him with teary-eyed wonder. He can’t think of a single thing to say, so he opts for pressing their lips together, letting his actions speak the words that his mouth was unable to. Merlin kisses back instantly, matching his love and passion with his own. Merlin shifts beside him, running both hands from his face down to his shoulders and pressing him back into the couch as he straddles his lap. Arthur let’s out a breathy sigh as Merlin settles in his lap, his hands automatically going to rest on Merlin’s sinful hipbones.

Arthur let’s out a small moan as Merlin shifts closer, and it turns into a pathetic whine as Merlin separates their mouths. Merlin is panting against his jaw as he murmurs, “Bedroom?”

Arthur can’t seem to move fast enough, Merlin letting out a breathy laugh as they both stumble up from the couch. They tangle their fingers together once again and rush from the room. Arthur stops in the hallway to press Merlin against the wall and suck and bite at his throat. Merlin moans helplessly as Arthur licks over the bruise forming on his pearly skin, gently soothing over the bite mark. Merlin fists a hand in his hair and pulls his head back, pressing their mouths together in a hungry kiss. When they eventually separate, Arthur’s knees are weak.

They continue almost blindly to the bedroom, hands already feverishly working to remove layers. Arthur’s t-shirt gets deposited in the doorway. Merlin’s takes more time, thanks to the buttons going down the front. Their lips stay locked as they both attack the buttons, meeting in the middle. The kiss becomes decidedly tender as Arthur runs his hands up Merlin’s shoulders, slipping the fabric off to land almost soundlessly on the floor at their feet. He pulls away minutely to look Merlin in the eyes.

“I want you to make love to me.” He admits softly, heart hammering in his chest. In all their time together, he had only bottomed once, but tonight, he found himself craving the feeling of being claimed. Of completely surrendering himself to Merlin, the love of his life.

Merlin nods, eyes swimming with endless affection and adoration. “Okay.” He replies, just as quietly, bringing up a hand to gently cup Arthur’s cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, leaning in to once again press their lips together. It’s different than the hot, desperate ones from before. This one is slow, passionate, and so full of love that Arthur’s eyes almost tear up.

Arthur watches with almost helpless devotion as Merlin pulls away, taking his hands in his and leading them both to the bed. He unhurriedly strips them both of their remaining clothes before gently pushing Arthur down onto the bed. Arthur sinks down onto the mattress willingly, letting his head come to rest on the pillows. Merlin crawls over him, knees securely around his thighs and elbows bracketing his head. He leans down and brushes his lips over Arthur’s forehead.

“I love you.” He whispers, words muffled against Arthur’s skin. Arthur closes his eyes and sighs softly, body relaxing entirely under Merlin’s weight. “I love your eyes.” Merlin continues, ghosting his lips over Arthur’s right eye. “I love your nose.” A kiss lands on the tip of his nose. “Your cheekbones.” Kiss. “That sharp jawline.” Merlin’s lips drag across his jaw to his ear. “I love all of you.” He breathes.

Arthur whines again. “What about my mouth? Do you love that too?” He asks playfully. Merlin snorts out a laugh into his hair. Pulling back, he gazes down at Arthur’s face, eyes twinkling.

“Naturally. It _is_ one of your best features.” He says cheekily before swooping down and finally kissing Arthur properly again. Arthur melts into it, feeling distinctly like coming home after a long time away. Unfortunately, Merlin has other plans, and pulls away, chuckling as Arthur tries to pull him back.

“I’m not done yet.” He chastises gently. Arthur pouts, but obediently sinks back into the pillows. He tilts his head back as Merlin nuzzles down his neck, a soft gasp leaving his lips as Merlin presses a kiss to the skin where his neck meets his shoulder. Merlin smiles against him, leaving another chaste kiss before moving on.

“Merlin.” Arthur gasps out as his boyfriend’s hands restlessly wander up and down his sides. Merlin’s eyes flick up to meet his as he dips down to press a kiss to his chest, right above his heart.

“I think I love your pure heart the best.” He murmurs as he pulls away. He shifts his weight, causing their erections to press together, and Arthur hisses, head tilting back into the pillows again.

“Merlin.” Arthur repeats, tone begging. For what, he couldn’t really be sure. Somehow, Merlin seems to understand because he dips his head to kiss his chest again, lingering just long enough to feel the pounding of Arthur’s heart before continuing lower. He doesn’t speak again, just continues to worship Arthur’s body with lips, and tongue, and feather-light touches. By the time he presses his mouth to the skin just below Arthur’s navel, Arthur is practically squirming and writing under his touch. The whole sensation is too overwhelming to even describe. Never, in his whole life, had he ever felt so wholly loved.

He’s panting hard as Merlin pulls away, reaching to their bedside table to grab condom and lube. He takes the brief respite to try to catch his breath, eyes fixed on his boyfriend’s sweaty body as he pops the cap on the lube and drizzles some over his fingers. Arthur nods as Merlin looks up questioningly, legs spreading wider subconsciously. _‘Yes, I want this.’_

Merlin’s head dips, tongue laving over Arthur’s hard cock as he slips his hand behind Arthur and teases a finger around his hole. Arthur’s eyes flutter closed as Merlin licks a broad stripe up the underside, lips parting to suck on the head as his finger slips fully inside. Arthur keens, pushing back against the intrusion instinctively. Merlin hums gently around him as he wiggles his finger in further, pumping it in and out of Arthur’s body. When Arthur starts pushing back more demandingly, Merlin slips another finger in.

Arthur winces at the stronger burn, but Merlin’s mouth around his pulsing cock distracts him as Merlin slowly works him open. By the time he slips a third finger in, Arthur is barely noticing the odd feeling anymore. His mouth falls open, a loud moan tumbling out, as Merlin crooks his fingers just right and presses into his prostate.

“Fuck, Arthur.” Merlin groans, mouth slipping off him with an obscene _pop_. Arthur reaches down, grabbing Merlin’s shoulders as best he can, and pulls him up to press their lips together again. Merlin’s fingers slip out at the sudden change of position, and Arthur whimpers slightly into his mouth. The taste of himself on his boyfriend’s tongue is enough to drive him crazy.

“I’m ready.” He gasps as they part for air. “Please, Merlin, I need you.” He begs. Merlin drops his head to his shoulder with a groan, nodding against him. He presses a quick kiss to Arthur’s shoulder before sitting back and grabbing the condom. Ripping it open, he rolls it over himself, mouth falling open around a breathy exhale. He slicks himself up liberally before settling back between Arthur’s parted thighs. Arthur wraps his legs around Merlin’s waist as he lines himself up, ankles hooking together and pressing into the small of Merlin’s back, urging him in as he slowly pushes past the ring of muscle.

Arthur moans shamelessly at the sensation of slowly getting filled, inch by inch, grabbing Merlin’s face for a messy kiss once he finally bottoms out. Merlin moans back and Arthur swallows it greedily. He meets Merlin’s eyes adoringly as his boyfriend pulls back slightly. They pant against each other’s mouths as they both get used to the feeling. Arthur nuzzles at Merlin’s chin, lips following with a gentle slide.

“Move.” He begs almost silently. Merlin rolls his hips slightly before pulling back and slowly pushing back in. Arthur shifts down, meeting Merlin as he thrusts back in, and they both groan.

“You’re incredible.” Merlin says over a shaky exhale, lips hovering once again by his ear. Arthur turns his head and kisses at Merlin’s exposed throat in reply, running his teeth gently over his skin. Merlin gasps softly, moving to press their lips together again. He brings his hands up, tangling his fingers with Arthur’s on either side of Arthur’s head. Arthur arches up into his body, cock already leaking precome sliding over his stomach and leaving a wet trail in its wake.

They quickly settle into a rhythm, soft and sensual and passionate. The equal give and take of it all is leaving Arthur breathless as he squeezes Merlin’s fingers between his own. He pulls away from Merlin’s mouth with a moan as his boyfriend shifts the angle slightly and thrusts directly into his prostate.

“Oh, shit, yes. There, right there.” He gasps, rolling his head back into the pillows as Merlin’s thrusts grow more forceful, yet still somehow gentle and worshipping. He groans again as Merlin presses his face into his neck, sucking and biting at his exposed skin. His whole body shudders as one particular brush of teeth most definitely leaves a mark.

Merlin kisses his way up Arthur’s throat, pausing to nip at his jaw, before once again kissing him. Arthur tries to convey as much love as he possibly can through the gesture, rolling his hips down again to meet Merlin’s thrust. Their kiss gets broken as Arthur cries out. He can feel the heat pooling in his belly already, and he desperately wants to hold on. He never wants this moment to end. He feels Merlin’s lips press to the skin just behind his ear, his nose buried in his hair.

“Let go, Arthur. I’ve got you. Let go.” He urges, and Arthur’s insides coil tightly before snapping. His whole body trembles with the weight of his orgasm at it rips through him. He’s barely conscious of his body arching up into Merlin’s, head rolling back again, lips parted in the most pornstar worthy moan he has ever heard in his life. He barely registers Merlin’s shaky hand reaching down to tug on his cock, milking his orgasm out of him.

He almost doesn’t hear Merlin groan, _“Oh shit, Arthur.”_ before his hips stutter. He shakily keeps thrusting into Arthur as he rides out his high, soft whine spilling from his lips. When he finally stills, he half collapses on top of Arthur, making his boyfriend let out an exhausted _‘oomph’._

They lay there, dazedly tangled up in each other for a moment before Merlin sits back and pulls out. Arthur winces slightly at the feeling of suddenly being _empty_. Merlin mumbles an apology as he pulls the condom off and tosses it in the trash beside the bed. He immediately lays back down, wrapping an arm around Arthur to pull him into his side. The position is so backwards from what they usually do, but Arthur let’s himself go, content to simply bask in the comfort that Merlin is so willingly and happily providing. He feels himself smile genuinely as he curls into Merlin’s side, arm going over his waist and head settling on his shoulder.

“I love you, too.” He says into the peaceful silence enveloping them. “Thank you.” He adds, turning his head slightly to press a kiss to Merlin’s sweat slicked shoulder.

“You never need to thank me for treating you like you should be treated.” Merlin replies. “But you’re very welcome.” His hand is idly running up and down Arthur’s back, and Arthur hums at the gentleness of the gesture. He melts under Merlin’s touch, letting himself bask in the feeling of just being loved completely. His fingers subconsciously start tracing shapes over Merlin’s chest, and he belatedly realizes that they’re hearts.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” He asks timidly.

“Yes, all of it.” Merlin hums. “Which part are you referencing, though?”

Arthur pauses hesitantly before replying. “The part about how I’m the one for you. That you want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Merlin shifts so he can see Arthur’s face. So Arthur can see the sincerity in his eyes as he says, “Yes.”

Arthur’s eyes flick over his face for a moment before saying, “Even now? Without all the things that made me sophisticated? That made me important?”

Merlin reaches up to settle his hand on Arthur’s flushed cheek. “Of course. I love you more now than I did two months ago because I fall more in love with you every day. We could end up on the street and I would be okay, as long as I had your arms around me. You are more than just your father’s money, and it breaks my heart that you were led to believe that you were only worth as much as you physically owned. You are worth more to me than the moon and the stars, and I never want you to question that again.”

He leans closer to brush his lips over Arthur’s forehead, and Arthur’s eyes tear up against his will. “I do not understand what you see in me,” he chokes out, “and I probably never will, but I don’t doubt your love for me. I truly am the luckiest man in the world.”

Merlin’s eyes soften as he gently rubs his thumb across Arthur’s cheek. Arthur stares back at him in fascination at the amount of pure love swimming in his eyes. He really never will understand what had drawn Merlin to him in the first place, but he didn’t care. As long as he had Merlin beside him, nothing else mattered. His father’s disgust and hatred faded away into nothing the longer he held Merlin’s gaze.

“You know, someday I’m going to ask you to marry me.” He says, blushing profusely when he realizes that he said the words out loud. His embarrassment washes away as Merlin beams at him.

“And someday I’m going to say yes.” Merlin replies, leaving no room for doubt in his mind. Arthur’s eyes brim with tears again, much to his mild frustration, and he ignores them by closing his eyes and kissing the amazing man that he was lucky enough to call his boyfriend. Merlin readily kisses back, humming contentedly. When they pull apart, Merlin once again rolls onto his back, pulling Arthur snugly into his side. Arthur relaxes, feeling better and more at home than he has in a very long time. The knowledge that his father didn’t seem to care still smarted a bit, but it was easier to bear knowing that Merlin was going to be in his life, in his heart, in his arms, forever.

**Author's Note:**

> I am officially now on tumblr! I suck at technology, so you’ll just have to go the old fashioned way of looking up: messandahalf10 😂


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